A Cow Peed On Her Car

You can't make this stuff up.  Just this morning, a friend was driving on the interstate next to a cattle truck, and a cow peed on her car.  On a rainy day, she went and got her car washed!  This kind if thing keeps reminding me of Roseanne Rosannadanna, played on the old Saturday Night Live by Gilda Radner, saying things like, "Well it just goes to show you, it's always something, you either got a toenail in your hamburger or toilet paper clinging to your shoe!"  She does an entire bit here on smoking!  LMAO!

But what is the freaking Zen here?  Where is the meaning of this encounter with the oneness of all things?  (By the way, my favorite book on Zen is STILL Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert M. Pirsig.  The best place to see it is on this page in the World's Coolest Stuff! store.  There are many categories there to browse, and it's all COOL!).  Where is the KARMA!?

I mean, you're driving along, not a care in the world, and SO many things are more likely to happen!  Why a cow and not a bird?  Birds have tagged my car like a million times!  Isn't there some kind of health law that requires cattle farmers to, I don't know, catheterize the beasts or something?!

In Rosanne Rosannadanna's honor, I'll continue the rant.  I HAVE had some pretty weird things happen to me in my long (?) life.  I am not proud to say that this is a true story.  Once when much younger, I had the poor judgement to walk into a smelly strip club -- just out of curiosity, of course -- to see what was what in such a place (ahem).  I did not want anyone to know I had done so.  LOUD music.  Colored lights.  Nudity.  The unfamiliar taste of beer.

I had a friend with me.  He proceeded to get blind-drunk enough to dance with a 55-year old trailer trash woman in a worn-out, white, fringed leather cowgirl outfit, and short, white, old-fashioned go-go boots.  He was so drunk he talked of taking her home.  I mean, this woman looked like Ghandi.  As I leaned my forehead against the wall in front of a disgusting urinal there, a guy next to me said someone had just broken into a car in the parking lot -- describing my car.  It was true; much stolen, including irreplaceable things.  Walking back inside, I immediately noticed the song that was playing.  It was one you should already know, download, or at least listen to somehow, both to get the impact -- and to have such a fine song in your collection.  It's called "Gotta Serve Somebody."  That means, "Well it might be the Devil, or it might be the Lord."

The next day the break-in -- including my full name, the time (2 AM), and the location -- was published in the newspaper.


It just goes to show you, it's always somethin'.  Either you're with a drunk guy that wants to sleep with Ghandi, or a cow is peeing on your car.

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